Will you take a look at that? Pretty pathetic, huh?
Well, you'll never believe this, but that llama you're looking at was once a human being.
And not just any human being. That guy was an emperor.
A rich, powerful ball of charisma. Oh, yeah!
This is his story. Well, actually, my story.
That's right-- I'm that llama.
The name is Kuzco--
Emperor Kuzco.
I was the world's nicest guy, and they ruined my life for no reason.
Oh, is that hard to believe? Look, I tell you what.
You go back a ways, you know, before I was a llama and this will all make sense.
All right, now see. That's a little too far back. Oh! Look at me.
That's me as a baby.
Ahem. All right, let's move ahead.
- ♪ Oh, yeah. - ♪ There are despots and dictators
♪ Political manipulators
♪ There are blue bloods ♪ with the intellects offleas
♪ There are kings and catty tyrants
♪ Who are so lacking in refinements
♪ They'd be better suited ♪ swinging from the trees
♪ He was born and raised to rule
♪ No one has ever been as cool
♪ In a thous and years of aristocracy
♪ An enigma and a mystery
♪ In Mesoamerican history
♪ The quintessence of perfection ♪ that is he
Okay, this is the rea I me. Not this.
This. Not this. Wi nner. Loser.
Okay, see thi s pal ace? Everyone in it is at my com mand. Check this out.
Butler. Chef.
Theme song guy.
♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ He's the sovereign lord ofthe nation
♪ He's the hippest cat ♪ in creation
♪ He's the alpha ♪ the omega, A to Z
♪ And this perfect world will spin
♪ Around his every little whim
♪ 'Cause this perfect world ♪ begins and ends with
- ♪ Me. - ♪ What's his name
♪ Kuzco
- ♪ That's his name - ♪ Kuzco
- ♪ He's the king of the world - ♪ Kuzco
- ♪ Is he hip or what - ♪ Kuzco
Yeah
You threw off my groove!
I'm sorry, but you've th rown off the em peror's groove.
- Sorry! - You were saying?
♪ What's his name ♪ Kuzco
- ♪ Kuzco - ♪ That's his name
- ♪ Kuzco - ♪ Kuzco
- ♪ Is he hip or what - ♪ Kuzco
♪ Don't you know he's ♪ the king of the world
- ♪ Kuzco - ♪ Whoa, yeah
Boom, ba by!
Your High ness, it is tim e for you to choose your bride.
All righty. Trot out the I adies.
Let's take a look-see. Hate your hair. Not likely.
Yikes, yikes, yikes. And let me guess.
You have a great personality. I s this really the best you could do?
Oh, yes. Oh, no. I -I mean, p-perhaps--
What is he babbling about? He's like the thing that wouldn't shut up.
Anyway, still wondering about that llama in the opening?
First, there's Pacha.
Uh, excuse me. I'm here to see Emperor Kuzco. You see, I got this summons.
I nside, up the stairs and to the left. Just follow the signs.
Oh, great. Thanks a lot.
Uh, and don't be fooled by the folksy peasant look.
- Uh, pardon me. That's mine. - Oh, here you go.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- Oh, hey. Are you all right? Here. Let me, uh-- - Oh, you're so very kind.
- What happened? - Well, I--
I threw off the emperor's groove.
- What? - His groove, the rhythm in which he lives his life, his pattern of behavior.
I threw it off, and the emperor had me thrown out the window.
- Oh, really? I'm supposed to see him today. - Don't throw off his groove!
- Oh, okay. - Beware the groove.
- Hey, are you gonna be all right? - Groove.
You see what I mean? This guy's trouble, but as bad as he is...
he is nothing compared to what's coming up next.
And why have you come here today?
Well, Y-Your Highness-- I mean, Your Grace.
Okay, gang. Check out this piece ofwork.
This is Yzma, the emperor's advisor--
Iiving proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth.
And let's not forget Yzma's right-hand man.
Every decade or so she gets a new one. This year's model is called Kronk.
Yeah, I got that there, Yzma.
Yep, that's Kronk.
Now lately, Yzma's gotten into this bad habit...
of trying to run the country behind my back...
and I'm thinkin' that's got to stop.
It is no concern of mine whe ther your family has--
- What was it again? - Um, food.
Ha! You really should have thought of that before you became peasants.
We're through here. Take him away. Next!
But I-- Oh, okay.
The nerve of some of those peasants, huh?
Tell me about it.
- Hi there. - Oh, Your Highness.
- Uh, you were doing it again. - Doing? Doing-- Doing-- Doing what?
Doing my job. I'm the emperor and you're the emperor's advisor. Remember that?
But, Your Highness, I was only dealing with meaningless peasant matters.
Whoa. Look at these wrinkles.
What is holding this woman together?
What the-- How long has that been there?
Good thinkin', Yzma. What do you say, Kuzco?
Whoa! No touchy! No touchy. No touch.
Uh, excuse me, Your Highness. The village leader is here to see you.
Oh, great. Send him in. Oh, and by the way, you're fired.
Fired? W-W-What do you mean, fired?
Um, how else can I say it? You're being let go...
your department's being downsized, you're part of an out placement...
we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option.
- Take your pick. I got more. - But I-- You, uh--
But-- But, Your Highness, I have been nothing if not loyal to the empire...
for-for-for many, many years.
Hey, everybody hits their stride.
You just hit yours 50 years ago.
So, who's in my chair?
Oh, oh! I know! Yzma. Yzma's in your chair, right?
- Very good, Kronk. Here. Get the snack. - Got it.
Okay, you heard the man. Up, up, up.
I'm okay. I'm fine.
Okay. Show him in.
Uh, afternoon, Your Highness. I'm here because I received a summons--
Hey, there he is! My main village man.
Um, Pacha. Anyway, I-I got this summons--
Pacha. That's right.
- You are just the man I wanted to see. - I am?
Word on the street is you can fix my problem.
You can fix my problem, can't you?
Sure. I'll do what I can.
Good, good. That's just what I wanted to hear.
Are you aware of just how important your village is to the empire?
Well, I know we grow the crops that you use here at the palace.
We also herd the llamas that you--
- My village? - Oh, yeah.
You got a pretty sweet little setup there on top of that hill, don't you?
Yeah. My family has lived on that hilltop for the last six generations.
Uh-huh. So tell me...
where do you find you get the most sun?
Oh, I-I'd say just on the other side of those trees.
When the sun hits that ridge just right, these hills sing.
- Well, that settles it. - Really?
Yep. Problem solved. Thanks for coming.
That's it? That's all you wanted me for?
I just needed an insider's opinion before I okayed this spot for my pool.
- Uh, your pool? - Boo-yah! Welcome to Kuzcotopia...
my ultimate summer getaway, complete with water slide.
- What? - Isn't it great? It's my birthday gift to me.
I'm so happy.
I don't understand how this could happen.
Well, let me clear it up for you. At my birthday celebration tomorrow...
I give the word, and your town will be destroyed...
to make way for this.
So, if I were you, I'd pick up some change-of-address forms on the way home.
But-But, um, where will we live?
Hmm. Don't know, don't care.
- How's that? - Oh, but wait. You can't--
When I give the word...
your little town thingy will be bye-bye.
- Bye-bye. - Oh, w-wait. No--
Boo-hoo. Oh, yeah. Everything was goin' my way.
Or so I thought.
He can't get rid of me that easily.
Who does that ungrateful little worm think he is? Does he--
a little to the left--
have any idea of who he's dealing with?
How could he do this to me? Why, I practically raised him.
- Yeah, you think he would've turned out better. - Yeah, go figure.
Well, it's better you're takin' out your anger...
on these things instead of the real Kuzco, huh?
That's it, Kronk! That's it!
I'll get rid of Kuzco.
- The real Kuzco? - Of course the real Kuzco.
Don't you see? It's perfect.
With him out of the way and no heir to the throne...
I'll take over and rule the empire.
- Brilliant! - So how does that work with you bein' fired and all?
The only ones who know about that are the three of us, soon to be the two of us.
And I'm one of those two, right?
To the secret lab!
Pull the lever, Kronk.
- Wrong lever! - Huh?
Why do we even have that lever?
Get out of my way!
Please remain seated and keep your arms and legs in at all times.
Faster, faster!
Yzma, put your hands in the air!
Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know.
I'll turn him into a flea, a harm less I ittle flea...
and then I'll put that flea in a box and then I'll put that box inside of another box...
and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives...
I'll smash it with a hammer!
It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!
Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this.
Take it, Kronk. Feel the power.
Oh, I can feel it.
Our moment of triumph approaches.
It's dinnertime.
So, is everything ready for tonight?
Oh, yeah. I thought we'd start off with soup and a light salad, and then see how we feel after that.
Not the dinner. The, you know--
Oh, right. The poison--
The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco...
Kuzco's poison.
- That poison? - Yes! That poison.
- Got you covered. - Excellent.
A few drops in his drink, and then I'll propose a toast...
and he will be dead before dessert.
Which is a real shame, because it's gonna be delicious.
Boom, bam, baby! Let's get to the grub.
I am one hungry king of the world.
So, no hard feelings about being let go?
None whatsoever.
Kronk, get the emperor a drink.
Drink. Right.
Your Highness.
- Is something burning? - My spinach puffs!
So, he seems nice.
H-He is.
He's what, in his late twenties?
- I'm not sure. - Saved'em!
- That's great. Good job. - Great! Very good job.
Watch it. They're still hot.
Kronk. The emperor needs his drink.
Right. Oh. Right.
Hey, Kronky, everything okay back there?
Well-- Oh, uh--
The drinks were a bit on the...
oh, uh, warm side.
Hey, did you see that sky today? Talk about blue.
Yes, Kronk. Riveting.
A toast to the emperor!
Long live Kuzco!
Don't drink the wine. Poison.
Ah! Tasty.
Finally! Good work, Kronk.
Oh, they're so easy to make. I'll get you the recipe.
Now to get rid of the body.
Okay! What were we saying?
Uh, uh, w-we were just making a toast...
to your long and healthy rule.
Right. So what are you gonna do?
I mean, you've been around here a long time and...
I really mean a long time.
I mean, it might be difficult for someone ofyour age...
ad justing to life in the private sector.
Hey, Kronk, can you top me off, pal? Be a friend?
- Now, about you finding new work, that's-that's gonna be tough. - Hit him on the head.
- More broccoli? - Because you're, you know--
Let's face it. You're no spring chicken, and I mean that in the best possible way.
What? A llama?
He's supposed to be dead!
Yeah, weird.
Let me see that vial.
This isn't poison.
This is extract of llama.
You know, in my defense, your poisons all look alike.
You might think about relabeling some of them.
Take him out of town and finish the job now!
- What about dinner? - Kronk, this is kind of important.
- How about dessert? - Well, I suppose there's time for dessert.
- And coffee? - All right. A quick cup of coffee.
Then take him out of town and finish the job!
Guess where I am right now. Uh-huh. In the bag.
Still think I'm not the victim here? Watch. It gets better.
Hey!
He's doing his own theme music?
Big, dumb and tone deaf.
I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this.
Mission accomplished.
- You're not just gonna let him die like that, are you? - My shoulder angel.
Don't listen to that guy. He's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness.
I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks.
- Oh, come off it. - You come off it!
- You. - You. - You. - You infinity.
Listen up, big guy. I got three good reasons why you should just walk away.
Number one-- Look at that guy!
He's got that sissy stringy music thing.
We've been through this. It's a harp, and you know it.
Oh, right. That's a harp and that's a dress.
- Robe! - Reason number two--
Look what I can do.
But what does that have to do with anything?
- No, no. He's got a point. - Listen, you guys.
You're sort of confusing me, so, uh, begone! Uh-- Or, uh, you know.
- However I get rid of you guys. - That'll work.
Um, what's with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back to me?
Oh, boy. Think, think, think.
What to do, what to do? What do we do with the body?
What am I gonna tell the village?
Come on, Kronky. Come on, Kronky. Okay. What do I do? What do I do?
Back! Elbow! Shoulder!
Oh. Hey! Hey, you!
Hey! Excuse me. Excuse me. Stop! Pardon me. Excuse me. Sorry about that.
Comin' through. Hey, you with the cart!
Uh-oh.
This is not good.
Hope that doesn't come back to haunt me.
Mom! Mom! I think I'm still growing! Measure me again!
All right, Tipo. Stand still and let's see.
Mom, you and I both know that it's impossible for him...
to have grown in the last five minutes.
- Isn't it? - Look how much you've grown.
What? Tipo, get out of the way.
- It's my turn again. Measure me. - Dad's home.
Hey!
Come here.
- Dad! I ate a bug today! - Oh! Was Mom baking again?
- Don't tell her I said that. - I heard that.
Okay, everybody, move aside.
Lady with a baby comin' through.
Dad! Dad! Dad! Look at how big I am.
- We were all measured today. - Oh.
I'm going through a growth spurt. I'm as big as you were when you were me.
Mm-hmm. Sure are.
That's not as impressive as my loose tooth. See?
Okay, okay, you two. Our deal was that you could stay awake until Daddy came home.
Now say good night.
Dad, do we have to?
No, you two can stay up. We're just gonna be sittin' here tellin' each other how much we love each other.
Right, honey?
Good night.
So, what did the emperor want?
You know what? He couldn't see me.
- Couldn't see you? Why not? - I don't know.
- Well-- Well, that's just rude. - Well, he is the emperor. I'm sure he's busy.
- No, no, no, no. No. Emperor or no emperor, it's called common courtesy. - Honey--
If that were me, I'd march right back there and demand to see him, and you know I would.
- Sweetie, sweetie, think of the baby. - Pacha, I'm fine.
This baby's not coming for a while, but even if it was...
I'd give that guy a piece of my mind.
That kind of behavior just- just--
I gotta go wash something.
Pacha? You okay?
Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm just a little tired from the trip.
Um, I'm gonna go put Misty away.
Hi. Excuse me. Two seconds here.
Um, I'm the one in the cart. Remember?
This story's about me, not him.
Okay. You got it? All right. We're gonna move ahead. Sorry to slow you down.
Huh?
Whoa.
- Where'd you come from, little guy? - No touchy.
- Demon llama! - Demon llama? Where?
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Ow! Ow, my head.
Okay, demon llama. Just take it easy.
I mean you no harm.
What are you talking about-- Oh, wait, I know you.
- You're that whiny peasant. - Emperor Kuzco?
Yeah. Who do you think you were talkin' to?
Uh, how did--
You don't look like the emperor.
What do you mean I don't look like the emperor?
- Do this-- - What is this, some kind of little game you country folk like to--
It can't be!
My face! My beautiful, beautiful face!
- Okay, okay, okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. - I'm an ugly, stinky llama!
- Wait, okay, Your Majesty. Shh. - Llama face!
What happened?
I'm tryin' to figure that out, okay?
I can't remember. I can't remember anything.
Wait a minute. I rememberyou.
I remember telling you that I was building my pool...
where your house was, and then you got mad at me.
- And you turned me into a llama! - What? No, I did not.
- Yes, and then you kidnapped me. - Why would I kidnap a llama?
I have no idea. You're the criminal mastermind, not me.
- What? - You're right.
That's giving you way too much credit.
Okay. I have to get back to the palace.
Yzma's got that "secret lab."
I'll just snap my fingers and order her to change me back.
Hey, you. No time to waste. Let's go.
Hey, tiny, I want to get out of this body. Wouldn't you? Now let's go.
Build your summerhouse somewhere else.
You wanna run that by me again?
I can't let you go back unless you change your mind...
and build your summer home somewhere else.
I got a little secret foryou. Come here. No, closer.
I don't make deals with peasants!
Then I guess I can't take you back.
Fine. I don't need you. I can find my own way back.
I wouldn't recommend it. It's a little dangerous if you don't know the way.
- Nice try, pal. - No, really. I'm telling you...
there are jaguars and snakes and quicksand.
- I'm not listening. - I'm not kidding. Listen, you cannot go in there.
Ow! Still not listening.
Aw, you-- Fine. Fine. Go ahead.
If there's no Kuzco, there's no Kuzcotopia.
Takes care of my problem.
Scary jungle. Right. Oh, a leaf.
Oh, it might attack me. Oh, it's a scary tree.
I'm afraid.
Please. Never find my way? I'm the emperor, and as such...
I'm born with an innate sense of direction.
Okay, where am I?
Help me! Help me! Help me!
- Too late. - Okay, that was the freakiest thing I've ever seen.
What do you want?
Oh, for me? Why, I don't know what to say.
- Ow! - Hit the road, bucky.
Ow! Huh? Huh?
Huh? Uh-oh.
No, no. No, no, no, no.
No, no. No, don't.
Ha!
No!
You killer jaguars--
Whoa!
Don't worry, Your Highness. I got ya. You're safe now.
Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me...
might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say?
No, no, no. It's-It's okay. This-This is all right. We can figure this out.
- I hate you. - No!
Ow! Ow!
I don't know about you, but I'm getting all funned out.
- Uh-oh. - Don't tell me.
- We're about to go over a huge waterfall. - Yep.
- Sharp rocks at the bottom? - Most likely.
Bring it on.
Your Highness. Your Highness, can you hear me?
Oh, boy. Come on, breathe.
Breathe!
Oh. Why me?
All right.
For the last time, it was not a kiss.
Well, whateveryou call it, it was disgusting.
And if you would've done what I ordered you to do in the first place...
we all could've been spared your little kiss of life.
But now that you're here, you will take me back to the palace.
I'll have Yzma change me back, and then I'll start construction on Kuzcotopia.
- Oh, yeah. - Okay, now look...
I think we got off on the wrong foot here.
I just think if you really thought about it...
you'd decide to build your home on a different hilltop.
And why would I do that?
Because...
deep down, I think you'll realize that you're forcing an entire village...
out of their homes just for you.
And that's bad?
Well, yeah.
Uh, nobody's that heartless.
- Now take me back. - What? Wait, wait. How can you be this way?
All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you.
Uh, yeah. Doy. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it.
You're the only one that doesn't seem to be with the program, eh, Pacha?
You know what? Someday, you're gonna wind up all alone...
and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Thanks for that. I'll log that away. Now, for the final time...
I order you to take me back to the palace.
Looks to me like you're stuck out here...
because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.
Because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.
Me, me, me.
Huh? What? I didn't do anything. I didn't--
Somebody's throwing stuff. You gonna build a fire or what? What's going on?
He's never gonna change his mind.
How am I ever gonna get out of here?
And so, it is with great sadness...
that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince...
taken from us so tragically...
on the very eve of his 18th birthday.
- Poor little guy. - His legacy will live on in our hearts...
- He never had a chance. - for all eternity.
Well, he ain't gettin' any deader.
Back to work.
Kronk, darlin', I must admit you had me worried...
when you mixed up those poisons.
But now that Kuzco is dead, all is forgiven.
Ah. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's-- He's dead, all right.
I mean, you can't get much deader than he-- than he is right now.
Unless, of course, we killed him again.
I suppose.
- Hey, look, the royal dresser's here. - Kronk.
- I should tell you right now I'm kind of hard to fit. - Kronk.
I wear a 66 long and a 31 waist.
Kuzco is dead, right?
Tell me Kuzco's dead. I need to hear these words.
- Do you need to hear all those words exactly? - He's still alive?
Well, he's not as dead as we would've hoped.
- Kronk. - I just thought I'd give you the heads-up in case Kuzco ever came back.
- He can't come back! - Yeah. That would be kind of awkward--
especially after that lovely eulogy.
You think? You and I are going out to find him.
If he talks, we are through! Now let's move.
Dad, look out!
Tipo, what is it?
I had a dream that Dad was tied to a log and was careening out of control...
down araging river of death!
- All right, all right, it's okay. Shh. - It was awful!
It's okay, it's okay. Tipo, calm down. It was just a dream. Your dad's fine.
He just went back to see the emperor.
Oh. Like you told him to, 'cause you're always right.
That's right. Well, in my dream, Dad had to kiss a llama.
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
- It could. - Nuh-uh. - Yeah-huh. - Nuh-uh.
- Yeah-uh. - Nuh-uh.
- Yeah-huh. - Nuh-uh. - Yeah-huh. - Nuh-uh.
- Good night, you two. - Yeah-huh. Night, Mom. - Nuh-uh. Night, Mom.
- Yeah-huh. - Nuh-uh. - Yeah-huh. - Nuh-uh.
Uh, hey.
- Thanks. - Oh.
No problem.
- Feels like wool. - Yeah.
- Alpaca? - Oh, yeah, it is.
Oh, yeah, I thought so. It's nice.
- My wife made it. - Oh, she knits?
- Crochets. - Crochets? Nice.
Thanks.
So--
So, I was thinking that when I got back to the city, we'd, uh--
I mean, there's lots of hilltops, and maybe I might, you know, I -I might--
Are you saying you've changed your mind?
- Oh, well, I-I-- - Because you know that means...
you're doing something nice for someone else.
- No, I know that. I know. - And you're all right with that?
Yes.
What?
Don't shake unless you mean it.
All right.
Let's get you back to the palace.
Oh, by the way, thanks.
No, thank you.